Share article:
Share article:

Human powered trains? April fools hits the press

© Wikipedia
© Wikipedia

Some “fishy” news (“April fish” = April fools in French) crept into the pages of French-language newspapers on Monday. Here is a press review of “April fish” spotted by news agency Belga. 

The mobilization of youth for climate inspired La Libre, which unveiled a “School Climate” comprehensive plan to enter into force on Monday. 

Among them: it will be forbidden for children who live less than six kilometres from school to travel by car; boilers will be blocked at 15 C°; end-of-class buzzers will be silenced ; soft-drink distributors and all plastic or aluminium packaging will be banned forever. 

L’Avenir also echoes the climate issue with eight new measures to save the planet. Among them: ban on bonfires and barbecues; establishment of trains propelled by human power; or a better correspondence between working hours and the solar cycle. 

New technologies and artificial intelligence teased the imagination of Sudpresse. The daily said that as part of a pilot project on the E41, autonomous electric cars will soon be allowed to overtake on hard shoulder emergency lanes. The only condition is not to touch the steering wheel. A collision will always be preferable, so as to improve the software. But do not panic, the cars will be riddled with airbags, Sudpresse said. 

La Dernière Heure editors concentrated on time changing that might disappear in 2021. They imagined Belgium cut in half, Flanders being for standard winter time, Wallonia preferring solar, or summer time. “An intense lobbying has already started,” the DH said. Surrealistically, it may soon be noon in Liege and 1pm in Antwerp. 

Le Soir, however, did not publish a traditional fish this year.

The Brussels Times

Latest news

Mayor wants to close two Brussels bars where alleged sexual assaults took place
Ixelles' Mayor Christos Doulkeridis (Ecolo) said that he’d like to close the two bars that employed a man accused of raping multiple patrons, ...
‘Untenable’: Mayor says situation at Brussels North station is out of control
The situation at Brussels North Station is no longer tenable, Schaerbeek's mayor Cécile Jodogne (Défi) says. Drug dealing, homelessness, ...
Suicide second-leading cause of death among European youth
Suicide is the number two killer among young people living in Europe, a recent Unicef report on the state of their mental health found. The ...
‘Too little, too late’: Brussels mayors criticise CST implementation
After a two week delay, the Covid Safe Ticket (CST) will become mandatory in several situations in Brussels from today (Friday). Some mayors blame a ...
Sciensano expert warns of rising Covid-19 cases this winter
The return of colder weather and the relaxing of health measures are giving rise to new Covid-19 contaminations and hospitalisations around Belgium, ...
Hospital food is making you sick, Belgian study shows
Eating hospital meals results in a measurable decline in health, according to a report from the Flemish television network VTM, which paints a ...
Belgium in Brief: Supply Issues
There are few things more jarring than walking into a store and finding that the shelves are empty, be that partially or otherwise. One thing ...
Stolen Magritte painting on display for first time in ten years
Surrealist painter René Magritte's work "Olympia", which made headlines across the world when it was stolen from a museum in Belgium in 2009, will be ...
Brussels airport pilots ’15 minute’ PCR test
Brussels Airport has announced that it will soon begin a trial of an ultra-fast PCR test able to detect Covid-19 in 15 minutes, a far faster ...
Over 1,000 demonstrators march in Brussels following sexual assault allegations
Around 1,300 people gathered in Ixelles on Thursday night to march against sexual violence, according to reporting from Bruzz. The march was ...
Covid Safe Ticket mandatory in Brussels, but no fines yet
The Brussels-Capital Region will expand the use of the Covid Safe Ticket (CST) from today (Friday), but it will take a few days before rule-breakers ...
Belgium hosts ‘farewell party’ for Merkel today
Angela Merkel will be in Belgium on Friday for an official visit as a symbolic "farewell" before leaving her position as German Chancellor after 16 ...