Last month, during Belgian Pride, I tried to explain to my six-year-old twin boys what the parade was about. I told them that families like ours — with two dads — weren’t always possible. That they weren’t accepted socially or recognised legally. Pride, I said, is about celebrating the fact that families like ours are now more accepted and protected by law.
They’re smart; they quickly picked up that if we need to celebrate our rights here, it probably means that it's not the same everywhere. So, they asked: What happens in other countries? “Well,” I said, “Hungary might be one example.” That’s a country where our family could not be legally recognised. I know it because I tried, as I happen to be a Hungarian citizen.
Over the years, I’ve gotten used to hearing the Hungarian government incite against the LGBTQ+ community, questioning our legitimacy, our dignity, and our right to equality. When I got married, I knew Hungary wouldn’t recognize my marriage. And when my husband and I became parents in 2019, I learned I couldn’t even pass on my nationality to my children — because under Hungarian law, a child cannot have two legal parents of the same sex. So, while under Belgian law, I’m married plus two, in Hungary I am officially a single, childless man.
The Hungarian government is not only making it impossible for us to live in Hungary. It is also limiting our freedom to move across Europe. When the European Commission proposed a regulation on mutual recognition of parenthood across EU Member States, Hungary made clear they would block it.
This kind of family rights legislation requires unanimity among the 27 EU countries. The proposal has therefore stalled and my family remains unrecognised across European borders. The rights of my children as well as of millions of others - to have their legal guardians recognised - have been blocked. Thank you, Orbán & Co.
Now things are escalating. The recent ban on the Budapest Pride march goes beyond symbolic intolerance. Not only did the authorities declare the march illegal, but also announced the use of AI surveillance tools to identify participants and create a database of those who attend.
The mere idea of a government-controlled registry of LGBTQ+ people — especially in a country with an openly homophobic government — sends shivers down my spine. It echoes some of Europe’s darkest chapters.
In my case, Orbán doesn’t need street cameras. I’ve spoken up for my family our struggle for equality —including in this newspaper — and my digital fingerprints are already out there. The day he chooses to further persecute LGBTQ+ citizens, I may find myself at the top of that list.
This isn’t happening in an authoritarian regime in the Middle East or in a dictatorship in Africa. This happening in the geographic heart of Europe and the European Union.
That's why attending Budapest Pride on 28 June this year is more important than ever. It is an act of resistance; a message to the Hungarian government and others watching across the continent that we will not be erased. It is an urgent act of defending the dignity, equality, and fundamental human rights of the LGBTQ community.
In the current populist wave, which is intensifying around the democratic world, if Orbán gets his way in banning Pride, he may be the first — but most probably not the last attempting this dangerous path.
If Europe stands for anything in this polarised world, let it stand firm for the fundamental rights of all its citizens — especially where they are most at risk.
I agree with Orbán that we must protect our children from deviant ideologies. By attending Budapest Pride, we are sending a message to every child that the anomaly or the deviation from human nature is not being gay. It’s persecuting those who are.
Happy Hungarian Pride
