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*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
European Union officials have drafted themselves into this year’s Ryder Cup golf team in a bid to get revenge on United States President Donald Trump.
Donald Trump loves golf, publicity and himself, in that order. His love of the game is so strong that it even affects how he makes national policy. For example, his ongoing crusade against wind energy is almost certainly because the US president does not like the wind farm that was built near his Scottish golf course.
It is this emotional attachment to a sport, which Europe invented, that EU officials are seeking to exploit at the upcoming Ryder Cup event at the end of September.
Held every two years, the cup pits the best American and European male players against each other. Europe are the defending champions, having won the competition in Italy in 2023.
However, in a bold move, EU top brass like Ursula von der Leyen, trade boss Maroš Šefčovič and climate chief Wopke Hoekstra have announced that they will be joining Europe’s 12-player team. The Commission president has even said she will be captaining the side.
The decision has sent ripples through both the sporting and political world, and although no reason for the decision has been given, it is likely an attempt to get revenge on Trump following a brutal trade deal loss earlier this month.
In fact, Brussels insiders have told Le Chou that von der Leyen has been seen practising her short game in her office long into the evening, while the nearly 2-metre-tall Dutchman, Hoekstra, has been spending time on a private driving range on the city’s outskirts.
Golf commentators have already questioned whether the EU has the power to impose selection decisions on the Ryder Cup team but a spokesperson for von der Leyen has insisted that the EU treaty “clearly says we can do what we want” and that matters of sovereignty grant Brussels emergency powers that extend to sporting events.
Geopolitical experts are now waiting to see what Trump will do and whether he will insist on playing as well. The president’s ego will surely not allow him to sit on the sidelines while von der Leyen and her team hit the links.
The US team are home favourites this year, so it remains to be seen whether the team will risk surrendering that advantage by allowing Trump to play, given that the president is known to exaggerate his golfing abilities.
**Editor’s note: Le Chou would like to apologise to Donald Trump for suggesting that he is not good at golf. The president would like it known that he is in fact “the best at golf. The very best. Everybody says so and anybody who doesn’t isn’t either a liar or very ugly indeed.”
*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
