Le Chou is Europe's most dedicated source of news. Catch up weekly on the biggest headlines with our roundup, all with an intentionally inaccurate and satirical streak. Follow live updates on Twitter and watch Le Chou TV on Instagram.
*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
Denmark’s newly-crowned king, Frederik X, has announced that his first act as monarch will be to invade the east coast of England, insisting that the land rightfully belongs to him.
Frederik X was expected to continue the peaceful reign of his mother, Queen Margrethe, after his coronation as king this weekend. However, Denmark’s new head of state has surprised many by ordering a full-scale invasion of England.
Wearing a horned helmet, knee-length chainmail and beaver furs, Frederik was carried through the streets of Copenhagen aboard a ceremonial longboat. Thousands of loyal subjects lined the route and cheered his name.
Neo-Viking activists have applauded the new king’s focus on “Danish heritage and traditional values” and it is hoped that the invasion of East Anglia and much of England’s east coast will spur a renaissance of the Viking way of life.
"Danes are tired of being mild-mannered and well-behaved. It's time to loot and pillage," said one bystander.
The economy is already feeling the benefit, as manufacturing centres have been boosted by orders for hundreds of longships and enough swords to raise an army of 10,000 warriors.
Denmark’s EU commissioner, Margrethe Vestager, has been tasked by King Frederik with organising a potential invasion of the United States, possibly in the second half of this year when England has fallen.
Danish raiding parties have already been dispatched to Greenland and the Faroe Islands, as Frederik seeks to hammer home that there is a new king in town.
Extra! Extra!
*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
