Name: Three Brussels residents rendezvous with Gloria and Rudy in Brasschaat.
Age: One night.
Location: Brasschaat, Belgium.
Appearance: Leafy green suburbia full of walnut trees and Dutch tax avoiders.
What exactly is Brasschaat?
It’s a delightful suburb of Antwerp. It won the LivCom-Award 2006 for the most liveable municipality in the world, don’t ya know.
What on earth is the LivCom-Award 2006?
No idea. But what I’m trying to convey is that it’s nice – even for what was essentially 10 hours in a chair on a terrace at Gloria’s flat.
So what did you actually do for this 10-hour terrace sesh?
Not much, really. We had an ambachtelijke cheese platter, played a parlour game – whatever that is - and moved to a different part of the terrace as we got blissfully squiffy. We spoke about divorce and asked the neighbour about the trees in his backyard.
Sounds so bourgeois it makes me want to barf.
Yeah, us too. Rudy "Let’s stay up until dawn as the nights are getting shorter" peaked far too early and Gloria "I haven’t smoked for 12 years but why not try again tonight" took a drag.
Stay classy Brasschaat.
Good pronunciation!
Salutjes. Where did you brunch the next day?
At the former stable of the Brasschaat Castle, which was marvellously mooi. Just don’t brunch between 11:00 and 12:00.
Oh? Why not? That is prime brunch hour.
Not in Brasschaat. Upon arriving for our 11:00 booking it became apparent, with just a hint of despair from multiple involved parties, that the kitchen is closed for precisely that one hour. They did console us with the best croissants ever though.
So having sat on your arses in various nice locations, can you reasonably say Brasschaat is the most liveable municipality in the world in 2006?
Yes! We prosecco-swilling, cheese-gobbling, prosecco-spilling sophisticates actually stood up, thank you very much, and went for a lope around the castle grounds. Het was heel plezant.
Do say: "Should we have another bottle of prosecco?"
Don’t say: "Yes, we should absolutely have another bottle of prosecco."
The Belgian Waffle is a satirical column.
In Brasschaat splendour waits at every turn. Credit: Wikimedia Commons
