The Belgian Waffle: Why go to a brasserie when you can go to a nanobrasserie?

Name: Drinking Brussels beer.

Age: One Saturday afternoon.

Location: Cantillon and Nanobrasserie de l’Ermitage, Anderlecht, Brussels.

Appearance

Cantillon: a corridor of oak barrels and beer vats that unexpectedly opens up into a beer Narnia evocative of a windowless airport pub. On the tables, bottles of beer laid in wicker cradles.

L’Ermitage

Grungy and pallet-y. On the tables, ashtrays.

New characters beyond you locals

Tourists from the Netherlands (Emma, Els) and Brexit refugees (Bob, Dan). Beer nerds clothed in Pantera tees; doughy of complexion and noses growing red.

So you arrived at the famed Cantillon brewery…

And 20 minutes later, the staff deigned to acknowledge us.

Sounds like a classic Belgian attitude to customer service

They adopted a lax-to-the-point-of-being-absent approach, with a helping of "The customer is always a mild inconvenience."

I assume your American bartender was more attentive?

Certainly.  Not long into our first lambic she gleefully recommended we go to another, cooler, more nano- and less micro-brewery around the corner. She also suggested we go to the Pasta Mama restaurant, which sold (you guessed it) beer and pizza.

That’s so great because aren’t ‘beer’ and ‘pizza’ Dan’s two favourite words in the English language? 

Yes, because he’s hip and hilarious like that (and he hasn’t come across ‘yod coalescence’ yet).

So what beer’dju try?

Some geuze, not-too-sweet kriek, soury sours, very barrel-tasting somethings and a beer that (it was under-confidently announced) had been made for the Belgian King?  All rounded off with a nice, fresh and floral IPA at the nanobrewery.

You should really apologise to the beer nerds for such rudimentary descriptions.

Yeah, soz pizza- faces.

Ah! Circling nicely back to the pizza, did you go to Pasta Mama?

No, instead L’Ermitage offered a single pizza option with spicy minced lamb on one side and cheese on the other, all garnished with fresh mint.

Hmmm… I don’t think those should ever be next to each other on a pizza.

I actually have to agree with you there.  Needless to say, as the beer nerds started descending en masse (and our American bartender who was definitely in cahoots with the l’Ermitage owners), we shipped off home for a pub quiz.

Do say:

"Echt Belgisch."

Don’t say:

"We’re ready to order."

The Belgian Waffle is a satirical column.

It's always a good time to savour expertise passed down through generations. Credit: Belga