Most first dates are overwhelmingly uneventful. Awkward hug hello, small talk between sips, part ways, never speak again. So when you come away from one with the most absurd story of your life, it's not something you forget easily.
This article is part of The Brussels Times' dating series, which includes columns and interviews with experts and members of the public on all matters of the heart.
I'd had a bit of a break from the apps since my self-inflicted dating marathon in July, which consisted of eight dates in two days. (No, I don't know why I did it, either.) But as Brussels sank into its midsummer lull, and I found myself with an entire week of no plans, I decided to spice up August with a spontaneous date.
Sitting at a bar on Place Fernand Cocq on a sunny Saturday evening, the eligible bachelor in question spoke to me about everything under the sun – family, religion, politics. Nothing was off limits.
Early in the evening, he mentioned his parents were very conservative; I thought nothing of it, completely oblivious to the bombshell he was about to drop.
"Well, I might as well be upfront about it. My dad is an ex-Jihadist," he said.
I stared at him, speechless. Surely not? But he went on to explain how his father had fought in Afghanistan and was a Bin Laden fan. I asked if this came up often on dates. "More than you'd think," he laughed.
Shortly after, I texted the girls' group chat from the bar's toilet, as one does: "Guys, I'm on a date with a man whose dad is an ex-Jihadist."
"Christ," one said. "I think you mean Mohammed," another replied.
As there were no first-date filters to be seen that evening, I showed him the messages on my return, and we laughed about them – but little did I know, the most shocking revelation was yet to come.
Illustrative image. Credit: Amie Johnson / Unsplash
As more pints were poured and as we delved deeper into Jihadism – the most romantic of topics – my date suddenly revealed that he was related to the man who orchestrated the devastating 9/11 terrorist attack in New York City in 2001, which claimed the lives of almost 3,000 people.
"First time I've told that one on a first date," he admitted.
My mouth fell wide open; I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. My date assured me that he had never met this relative, who was arrested shortly after the attack, and that he was from a more extreme side of the family with whom he had no contact. He also said he despised all religion, including Islam, despite being brought up Muslim.
But it was no less horrifying. Especially when he added that his uncle had a poster taped to a bedroom wardrobe of the Twin Towers with 'Death to America' inscribed underneath.
It was difficult to compute everything I was hearing – and the strong Belgian beers certainly weren't helping matters.
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Towards the end of the night, just when it seemed there was nothing else he could say to shock me, he announced that a distant cousin was due to be hanged soon for raping and murdering an ex-girlfriend.
Again, I hadn't mentally prepared for capital punishment to be on the list of topics for discussion that evening – it tends to sap the sexiness out of a conversation pretty quickly.
I thought I was an oversharer on first dates, but it seems I met my match that night. And all of the above begs the question: at what point do you reveal your life's secrets when dating?
You could argue that a first date perhaps isn't the best time to disclose you're related to a terrorist, but then again, when is? And surely better now than to wait until the week of the wedding like in 'The Drama' (no spoilers here — go and watch it).
I've had plenty of unusual dates in Brussels. There was the man who told me he'd been in a hit-and-run and showed me the X-ray of the hole in his skull; or the one who told me he'd had sex with someone two nights prior; or even the time someone collapsed next to me at a bar in Saint-Gilles, and I had to continue attempting small talk while an ambulance arrived and paramedics intervened a metre away.
But I think I can safely say none will ever be as memorable as the son of the ex-Jihadist.
