Dating as an activist can be difficult in Brussels. It’s a small, professional bubble where potential dates could share mutual friends or be current or former colleagues.
If your political views are important to you, dating apps and singles nights don’t make it any easier when there’s a growing political polarisation between the left and right.
“In the end, you spend most of your time just trying to filter out hundreds of people that you don’t have shared values with,” Cass Heldon, the organiser of the third Speed Dating for Activists event, told the Brussels Times.
“And it’s not to say that you can never date beyond your political spectrum, but it’s such a key part of your identity.”
Speed dating for activists has been met with high demand in Brussels. The event is organised by the Green Fix, a six-volunteer climate initiative that began as a newsletter by Heldon with over 5,500 subscribers on Substack. It describes itself as “your bullshit-free roundup of climate justice, feminist and decolonial news and opportunities in Europe and beyond.”
Previous speed-dating editions had long wait lists, and attendance is capped at 50 participants. Tickets sold out last week, though the wait list was again left open, and the event will take place at an undisclosed bar in the Brussels city centre to prevent any unwanted crashers.
Dating in the age of political polarisation
However, the event has faced criticism. Heldon described getting comments online, typically from what she described as "angry men," arguing that the events are exclusionary and contribute to growing political polarisation and division between the left and the right.
“Of course, we do need a lot of dialogue across the political spectrum and we do see governments and corporations kind of propelling this polarisation,” Heldon said.
While she acknowledged the need to break down these barriers, she argued that not every aspect of life needs to be devoted to bridging a political divide. “And when it comes to dating and personal relationships,” Heldon said, “it really matters what your partner thinks about your views, your values.”
Third time's the charm
The Brussels Times spoke with Louis, a 29-year-old from Brussels who works in a shelter for victims of domestic violence and attended the previous speed-dating events. Though none of his matches led to romantic relationships, for Louis, the event was still a success.
Even if they don’t find love, activist speed dating is a way for people in Brussels' activist and NGO circles to meet outside their professional networks. For an introvert like Louis, these events can make future networking and building community easier.
“I was like, okay, I'm not going to date those people,” he said, “but I know I'm going to meet them at some events afterwards, and it would be nice to see them again and to have discussions.”
A poster for a previous "speed dating for activists" event. Credit: Robin Roels
Success stories
When asked about any success stories, Heldon admitted that she couldn’t name any long-term relationships that arose from previous events. “You know, I’m not entirely sure because they don’t tell me,” she said. “They should keep me in CC.”
However, there were matches who continued to go on several dates, and there are previous participants who didn’t register for the third event because they’re now in relationships. Even if it wasn’t because of the speed-dating event, Heldon said, she would like to think it was a step in their journey.
However, new friendships have certainly been formed, and attendees continue to go to other events the Green Fix hosts, “so I count that as a success,” she said.
And for the speed-dating events overall? She said they've been a success.
“I think, you know, when you go to a speed dating, the success isn't necessarily in whether you find someone that you fall in love with and stay together forever. The success is whether you had a good time and whether you hung out with good people.”
