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*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
Emmanuel Macron’s decision to give a speech in German this week has delighted political scientists across the continent and “unlocked decades of new research opportunities” for analysts who claim to understand what France’s president “really means by that”.
Macron brushed up on his Deutsch to deliver a memorial speech in the German parliament during a ceremony dedicated to recently-departed political heavyweight Wolfgang Schäuble. It was a touching gesture that has had a powerful effect on the political sciences community.
“We could well be looking at a decade’s-worth of translation and interpretation here. Understanding Macron in French is challenging enough, even English is for advanced-level analysts only. This German speech puts us into uncharted territory,” said one eager fan.
France’s president is notorious for giving statements, interviews and speeches where, according to political science majors everywhere, his true meaning is buried under nuance and subtle turns of phrase.
Enthusiastic pundits have written countless Twitter threads and set up hundreds of Substack newsletters dedicated to Macron’s hidden utterances. Many claim to hear the French head of state’s true meaning when they are asleep.
Less-gifted Macronverstehers have turned to interpreting his speeches using ancient Aramaic texts or by consulting the patterns left by tea leaves. Some have even resorted to artificial intelligence and psychedelic drugs in a futile bid to hear the true gospel according to Emmanuel.
Proponents of a European federal model have also leapt upon Macron’s Bundestag speech to suggest that France and Germany do not need a president each and that one person should do the job.
“If Macron can speak German then why not have him do both? His first name is already German-enough. If he adds a ‘k’ to Macron then he can pass as Germanic,” suggested one lunatic MEP aide.
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*Le Chou is intended for purely satirical and entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views of The Brussels Times*
